There are many emotional spending triggers that affect life in your 20s. After landing your first successful career out of college and settling in for a year, it’s time for the highly anticipated annual bonus. Your emotional state is elated at the thought of splurging after a grueling week, and you spend $300 impulsively on an Amazon cart.
This is just one example of how decisions based on our “mental” can seem small just before spiraling out of control. By understanding our emotions, we can find out how to avoid habits that cause this.
Signs of emotional spending
The signs become clearer when we connect spending and our mental health. According to Joyce Marter, LCPC and contributor to Psychology Today, “Advertizers and marketers use many tactics to trigger emotions to their target audience…as they capitalize our emotions to make us spend more.”
Some behaviors
- You’re spending to heal negativity.
- You’re triggered by FOMO through social media.
- You always spend more after paying for necessities.
- You collect a pile of non-returnable purchases.
Emotions that can trigger spending
Retail therapy only works for so long, and this is triggered by a myriad of emotions, including:
Jealousy
It’s easy to fall into fits of envy when Tesla after Tesla drives past your old beater. If only I had the money/job/connections they had. Perhaps taking a moment to reflect that you paid for your functioning car in cash can help–try out mindful gratitude when the little green monster creeps in.
Apathy or depression
During the lockdowns of 2020, people self-soothed with online purchases to cope with the new normal. Understandably so, with a negative outlook on the world, purchases lifted moods temporarily by releasing endorphins. Mounting debt can also cause a lack of motivation to take action to improve your financial situation. Don’t live by the adage “Keeping up with the Joneses,” instead, be yourself, or find a new hobby.
Fear or stress
Sometimes, we spend because we want to relieve anxiety or distract from the dread of something serious. It can be hard to save for a future you’re not even certain you’ll be here for. The last thing you need, however, is a true emergency and that money is gone from an impulse purchase. Being in debt can cause stress or anxiety to increase, so give yourself that peace of mind by breathing and distancing yourself from the trigger.
Love
When you’re in love, you could teeter between conscious and impulsive spending. Over the course of a first date, you may feel like more was spent during courtship on your loved one, once the wedding rolls around. It’s easy to feel excited when giving gifts, especially if that’s their love language.
How to overcome emotional spending
Overcoming emotional spending can be the first step to paying off debt. One of the best ways to avoid impulse purchases is to develop emotional intelligence, a form of resilience that connects decisions to values instead of feelings. Marter goes on to say, “Emotional intelligence gives us the skills to identify, understand, and manage our emotions and those of others effectively. As a result, we can participate in non-emotional spending from a place of financial awareness/consciousness, rationality, practicality, and equanimity (emotional groundedness and clarity).” Here are some ways we can do so:
Set a budget for value-based spending
Make. Budgeting. Fun! Schedule a money date. Dress nicely, make your favorite meal, and get cozy. After reducing your net pay by your necessary expenses (rent, utilities, etc.), set aside an amount for what I like to call “miscellaneous spending.” This is a guilt-free monthly allowance for fun, which I set at $100.
Know your triggers
Once you find out what causes you to spend more than you take home, do everything you can to overcome it. For instance, if you spend because everyone on social media seems to, take a walk instead, or take what you would have spent on that item as a payment to your debt. While on your debt journey, if you experience burnout, give yourself time to recharge by treating yourself at least once along the way.
Think before spending money
Before making an impulse purchase, ask yourself these questions:
- Can I afford it, or can I afford the debt of it? — It’s more enticing to purchase a large item over smaller purchases with BNPL, but you can reduce the risk of late fees by making the full purchase if there’s room after necessary expenses.
- Is it a limited edition, or can I wait to purchase it? —If it’s not a limited edition, it will always be there–the companies will make more as long as supply and demand allow.
- How much work is this costing me? –If that splurge costs $160 and you get paid $20 an hour, ask yourself, is it worth an entire shift of work?
- Am I buying this for attention? — Whether this is lifestyle or physical looks, make sure you’re buying for yourself. Social media is for inspiration, not comparison.
- How long will I use this? — Consider the cost per use when you make a purchase, big or small.
Make it difficult to spend
According to James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, one way to change a bad habit is to “make it difficult.” Make spending the ugliest thing in your mind. The trick is not to judge yourself or others for spending impulsively. Instead, you could briefly compare it to, say, something gross: “I’m going to pick my nose today at the mall.” Now, you wouldn’t really do that, right? This is one way to put it out of your mind, but do what’s comfortable. Another way to make the purchase difficult is to ask someone to keep your card in a spot that’s difficult to find. This will decrease the convenience of having the card on hand to spend.
Find free ways to cope
Take a walk. Go to a museum. Drive around a scenic, rich neighborhood and imagine a lavish life. Host an outdoor picnic with music. But please, anything but spending money!