Should I talk about money on a first date?
Yes, you can talk about money on a first date. Read that again.
During the early stages of a relationship, numerous thoughts flood your mind: the thrill of discovering someone new, the excitement of shared moments, and the jitters of navigating first-date conversations. Money takes a back seat during these initial encounters, only to discuss whether to split the bill or decide who should pay for dates. Balancing the financial dynamics becomes a delicate dance, ensuring it doesn’t overshadow the enchantment of the moment.
So why talk about money this early, or at all? Because money intertwines with our values, choices, and priorities in our present moments and our futures. If you know you’re a Virgo with an emergency fund who always plans before taking a trip, connecting deeply with a spontaneous Aquarius who wants immediate gratification could be challenging.
Open and honest communication about money helps foster trust and understanding between partners, creating an opportunity to share financial beliefs, experiences, and goals. This strengthens the foundation of your relationship and helps avoid conflicts by ensuring you’re on the same page when it comes to financial matters.
Get each party comfortable first.
Take a deep breath.
To break the ice, start with this:
“I’d like to get to know each other on a bit of a personal level. How comfortable are you with us talking a little bit about our finances?”
By opening the conversation with this open-ended question, you break free from the fear of the taboo surrounding money. Instead, you create a sense of curiosity, avoiding an interrogation-like atmosphere. If your date agrees, get ready for some fun topics to discuss money without delving too deep. These money questions might encourage judgment-free value comparisons on the first date and initiate an open, natural, and enjoyable conversation. Here are 5 casual first-date questions about money.
Are you saving up for anything fun?
This question is a great icebreaker to get to know each other better. It allows one of you to share exciting plans, such as a trip to a new destination or your school semester.
Would you rather…?, but the money version
You know it, you love it! You two can explore related questions to delve deeper into your perspectives. For example, you could discuss more this-or-that, like always paying for first-class tickets or always dining at 5-star restaurants. Some responses may reveal whether your date leans towards present enjoyment or future planning.
Where do you think we could’ve been at the same place and time without knowing?
This helps steer the conversation towards discreetly discovering shared spending habits. Let your hobbies, education, or imagination guide this discussion. You might uncover that you were both at Coachella during the same year.
How many ‘zeroes’ does your bank account have?
The less invasive version of “How much do you make?” Transform this question into a playful guessing game. If the answer is 2, it could be $1050, $1500, or even $10.02 if you consider the loose change. The mystery surrounding the exact figure allows for a light-hearted exploration without disclosing too much information.
What category do you enjoy spending on?
Avoiding labels, this question seeks to uncover your preferences without categorizing you as a “saver” or a “spender.” If either of you picked up a new hobby, which almost always costs something to build upon, share honestly and listen actively to each other without any judgment attached. At first, you may find it frivolous, but it is essential to the person in front of you.
While money may not seem romantic to discuss on a first date, recognizing its impact on your relationship’s trajectory is essential. By being mindful of your financial values and finding common ground with your potential partner, you can cultivate a healthier and more fulfilling connection in the long run. Asking the right questions should make your first date enjoyable, and even find green flags that align you early on.